“The more he ate, the more he hated.” #writing #throwawayline

“The moon hung low. Just like the plumber’s who came to fix her pipes.” #writing #throwawayline

“Parent’s are never optional. Well, they are if you believe in spontaneous spawnation.” #writing #throwawayline

“Jean and tonic.” “Huh?” “Want jeans and tonic.” “You’re not from around here, are you?” #writing #throwawayline

“It’s difficult to play a hammered dulcimer. It keeps staggering from all the alcohol.” #writing #throwawayline

“Vampires are bloodthirsty.” #writing #throwawayline

“Boycotts seem so sexist.” #writing #throwawayline

“In the pantheon of the gods, he was the lowest rung. Too bad he broke it the moment he stepped on it.” #writing #throwawayline

“Hi. My name is Mas Carpone. I’d like you to meet my brother Al. And his little friend” #writing #throwawayline

“Welcome the rain. It shall wash away your sins along with your pet aardvark.” #writing #throwawayline

“Just as suddenly as it had appeared the adverb was erased.” #writing #throwawayline

“You don’t need a fortune to be fortunate.” #writing #throwawayline

“What’s wrong? Speak your mind.” He enunciated, “Your mind.” #writing #throwawayline

“Problems will always solve themselves if you stop considering them as problematic.” #writing #throwawayline

“When in doubt, hit them with a bigger stick and call it a sport.” #writing #throwawayline

“You see,” he began. “People love to complain. It’s not that there is anything wrong with their lives, apart from lack of someone to feel sorry for them. Pity is the key to friendship when you have no friends.” #writing #throwawayline

“Keep a smile in your heart and a knife under your pillow.” #writing #throwawayline

“You’re like this loaf of bread. You’re old, hard, and stale.” #writing #throwawayline

“The world needs more you. Just bring dessert.” #writing #throwawayline

“Rise up! Multiply! Overcome all who stand in your way!” — “The Yeasterly” #writing #throwawayline #baking

“His bellicosity was bigger than his belly. That was fine with him since he and his belly hung out.” #writing #throwawayline

“His hair was so slicked-back that it matched his greasy personality. A loud tie and oversized cufflinks completed his ensemble. It was then that I realized I was dealing with a lawyer.” #writing #throwawayline

“He was a shadow of his former self, but only when the sun out. Otherwise, he roamed the night in his full glory and power.” #writing #throwawayline

“Words spewed from his mouth the way fireworks blaze in the sky, or a fountain spews water into the air, or a toddler spews food all over the floor.” #writing #throwawayline

“The Grand Vizier whispers to the king, ‘Don’t listen to the kid. Your clothes are gorgeous.'” #writing #throwawayline