“He was wicked stupid. He thought everything in the movie was real.” #wicked #throwawayline

“One of my oldest friends just told me they’re getting married.” “How old are they?” #writing #throwawayline

“His ego is so big it can’t fit in this book.” #writing #throwawayline

“The irony was, he didn’t own one.” #writing #throwawayline

“He polished his chimney with care, in hopes Saint Nicholas would be there. Then he lined it with UV glue.” #writing #throwawayline

“He shot hoops because he knew they never shot back.” #writing #throwawayline

“Mary had a little lamb. With a little beef With the way it was cooked. She thought she’d been rooked. For, it wasn’t lamb, But goat, So, on the website, She did downvote.” #writing #throwawayline

“Some people chewed gum as if it were a cud. He, however, just chewed his cud.” #writing #throwawayline #character

“That’s the last thing I want to do.” “What?” “Die.” “Well, I’m sure you’ll get your wish.” #writing #throwawayline

“I got some wrapping paper, but it was defective. It was silent and didn’t spit words.” #throwawayline

“I thought I saw an elephant once. But actually, I saw it twice.” #writing #throwawayline

“The dead don’t dance because they have no ears with which to hear the music.” #writing #throwawayline

“I’m going Dutch. I’m going to build a windmill and plant tulips around it.” #writing #throwawayline

“Sometimes you have to wake up to smell the coffee.” #writing #throwawayline

“What’s your perspective on life?” “Forced.” If you get it you get it. #writing #throwawayline

“Can you turn the computer to the gooey?” #writing #throwawayline

“I curse you and your heirs to walk the Earth in search of cookies after death.” #writing #throwawayline

“Stupidity AI: Dominating the world of tomorrow, today.” #throwawayline

Bat 1 to bat 2: “What are you doing? Bat 2: “Just hanging around.” #humor #throwawayline

“There haven’t been signs of life on Earth in years.” #writing #throwawayline

“How do you want your steak cooked?” “Medium-sick.” #writing #throwawayline

“When you are with someone, pretend they are a real person and treat them as such.” #throwawayline

“The Lord of the Rings, The Ringmaster.” #writing #throwawayline

“There’s a hidden day between Tuesday and Wednesday known as Thrusday, but I always sleep right through it.” #writing #throwawayline

“I’d sell your soul, but no one would buy it.” #writing #throwawayline