“Life is an empty room you fill with hopes and fears and old papers and cat fur. If you’re lucky you get a cat.” #writing #throwawayline

“His name was Justin Case. His parents had a sense of humor, or so they said. He had no talent, so he became a detective. He thought it would look good on his door when he hung out his shingle.” #writing #throwawayline

“He slammed his fist against the table. It hit hard, bounced, rolled onto the floor and onto the sleeping cat who promptly batted it behind the fridge with all of his other body parts and various dust bunnies.” #writing #throwawayline

“Did you ever look in the mirror and wish you looked like Colonel Sanders because you loved chicken? I did. But I hate chicken.” #writing #throwawayline

“Her nostrils exuded a liquid not unlike gelatin which hadn’t set. If anyone were brave enough to taste it, which she did, they would have found it to be more disgusting than lime-flavored gelatin. This made her cry, which just produced more of the substance.” #writing #character #throwawayline

“Can I borrow some money? I’m a little short.” “That sounds like a personal problem.” #writing #throwawayline

“Isn’t a spammer someone who uses a wrench?” #throwawayline

“Did you know that dogs froze to death before humans put little sweaters on them?” .~ #writing #throwawayline

“I’m going full-bore next year.” “I didn’t think you could be more boring.” #writing #throwawayline

“I have a unique perspective in life. It’s skewed forty-five and a half degrees.” #writing #throwawayline

“The Exercisist” - Terror in the gym. #writing #prompt #throwawayline

“She sealed it with a kiss—a kiss of death from a seal.” #writing #throwawayline

“He was wicked stupid. He thought everything in the movie was real.” #wicked #throwawayline

“One of my oldest friends just told me they’re getting married.” “How old are they?” #writing #throwawayline

“His ego is so big it can’t fit in this book.” #writing #throwawayline

“The irony was, he didn’t own one.” #writing #throwawayline

“He polished his chimney with care, in hopes Saint Nicholas would be there. Then he lined it with UV glue.” #writing #throwawayline

“He shot hoops because he knew they never shot back.” #writing #throwawayline

“Mary had a little lamb. With a little beef With the way it was cooked. She thought she’d been rooked. For, it wasn’t lamb, But goat, So, on the website, She did downvote.” #writing #throwawayline

“Some people chewed gum as if it were a cud. He, however, just chewed his cud.” #writing #throwawayline #character

“That’s the last thing I want to do.” “What?” “Die.” “Well, I’m sure you’ll get your wish.” #writing #throwawayline

“I got some wrapping paper, but it was defective. It was silent and didn’t spit words.” #throwawayline

“I thought I saw an elephant once. But actually, I saw it twice.” #writing #throwawayline

“The dead don’t dance because they have no ears with which to hear the music.” #writing #throwawayline

“I’m going Dutch. I’m going to build a windmill and plant tulips around it.” #writing #throwawayline