“If you don’t know what you want, you may as well toss a coin, assuming of course you, know what to call. If you do not know, seek help.” #writing #throwawayline

“He spoke as if the world was crashing in around him—loud and in a panic.” #writing #throwawayline

“He booked a tequila flight, but he was disappointed because it was in a bar and he never saw a plane.” #writing #throwawayline

“The cuckoos cuckooed. The warblers warbled The robins robbed.” #writing #throwawayline

“Who owns the Buffalo Ranch?” #writing #throwawayline

“I do not know which side I am buttered on.” #writing #throwawayline

“If you’re a leader, why do you follow so many people on social media?” #writing #throwawayline

“He wasn’t as educated as a neon tetra.” If you get it, you understand. #writing #throwawayline

“And a fun time was had by all. That is, except for Sam, who never had fun and always complained about the lack of marmite.” #writing #throwawayline

“Time has a way of showing up when you least need it.” #writing #throwawayline

“Being dead is, pretty much, just like life. You spend most of your time lying around all day. The one good thing is you don’t have to pay taxes while doing it.” #writing #throwawayline

“Daddy, why is the sky blue?” “Because, son, your mommy ran off with my best friend.” #writing #throwawayline

“He was a drummer waiting for his beat.” #writing #throwawayline

“Why do you save money if you never spend it? Saving for the future is OK, but you’re not going to live forever. And there isn’t any good reason to bequeath your money to your kids. They won’t account to much seeing as all they do is cry, eat, and poop their diapers.” #writing #throwawayline

“The emperor is insane and that’s what his followers want.” #writing #throwawayline

“His life was like a letter in the dead letter bin of the post office.” #writing #throwawayline

“He couldn’t balance the basketball on his finger, so they used Photoshop.” #writing #throwawayline #observed #marketing #failure

“Bring out your dead! Bring out your living! We aren’t picky. Two-for-one sale, today only!” #throwawayline

“You will rot in this jail cell until you talk.” “This is a step up from my apartment.” #writing #throwawayline

“He lived in a small hut and an unassuming life. His was the Hovel of Lessdor.” If you get it, you win no prize. #writing #throwawayline

“Prepare to die! Everyone dies. You may as well be ready. We have a whole-life policy you can buy.” #writing #throwawayline

“He fell flat on his face onto the floor which was at a flat thirty-seven degree angle.” #writing #throwawayline

“I could be wrong. I should be.” #writing #throwawayline

“Back in my day, I was still alive.” #writing #throwawayline

“He sniveled as he coward.” #writing #throwawayline