Overheard: “Unpaid bills are meant to be unpaid.” Otherwise, they would be bills? #writing #character

“My parents would banish me from the house for not doing my chores. I would wander the tundra in search of lichens I would then tame and train to attack my parents.” #writing #throwawayline

Hm. They want to pitch “Last Call” for a movie? I get a lot of these spam calls. This one actually bothered to read the book, however, and actually named the person they want me to pitch to. auteureist.com/LastCall/ #book #writing

Why is doing a backflip a sign of happiness/joy/elation, and not training? And why isn’t doing a frontflip the opposite? @grammargirl #etymology #writing

When life hits you in the eye, With a big pizza pie, It hurts like a sty, But you won’t die, So don’t try Just eat It. #writing #poetry #poem

“Death always knocks politely when it arrives. Many ignore it and then Death is forced to barge in with a bulldozer.” #writing #life

“You may ask wha tI do for a living, isn’t living enough?” #writing

“My parents would taunt me until I pitched them the mouse.” #writing #throwawayline

Writer’s block: n. where non-writers live. #writing

“His mouth was full of food as he spoke. Most of it was unchewed, but the bits that were, dribbled down his chin in a river not unlike the Mississippi during a dry spell.” #writing

“Mommy, what happens after you die?” “You have to give a PowerPoint presentation to God.” #writing #throwawayline

And… another fountain pen runs dry. #writing #fountainpen

“When your hands are covered in blood, use a red towel.” #writing #throwawayline

“No one will miss me when I’m gone. No one misses me when I’m here.” #writing #throwawayline

If Walt Disney taught authors anything, it was that to make your reader feel something, kill the dog, or the mother deer. They may hate you for doing it, but you will have felt something as a reader, which is why most people read. #disney #book #emotion #writing

“Aren’t you supposed to be dead?” “I am, but I keep beating the odds.” #writing #throwawayline

No matter how bad it may be, you’re better with your sense of humor than an empty whiskey barrel full of drunk termites. #humor #life

“His breath was as fetid as a festering fetus in a garbage dump.” #writing #throwawayline

“I shall pull down the sun and bring the endless night.” “How—how will you do that, Master?” “I shall fling this useless planet into the void.” “Wasnt’t that Space:1999?” “That was the moon and a TV show. My plans are bigger.!By the way, you’re an idiot.” #writing #throwawayline

“He stared intently. He stared with intentions most foul. He was The One.” #writing #throwawayline

“Nobody likes the blues. That is, no one who is already dead.” #writing

Observed. His long gray beard had a top-knot. #writing #character

“Life is easy, if you are.” #writing #throwawayline

“If you dont know why you are crying, you cry. If you know why you are crying, you stop.” #writing

First draft done. It’s not as polished as my typical frst drafts, but it has Doctor McCoy–“good bones”. #writing #shortstory