“Through the years, as a chef, he became adept at stuffing turkeys. Unfortunately, they were living and he used old shoes.” #writing #throwawayline

“His parents didn’t want him to have a DeathStar so they gave him a toy boat that kept sinking.” #writing #throwawayline

“You are the artificial life you’ve always feared.” #writing #throwawayline

“She had a nose that curled up the way her nose did.” #writing #throwawayline #character

“I ate 144 cupcakes.” “Eew! That’s gross.” #writing #throwawayline

“I had twenty-three conversations today. All with myself.” #writing #throwawayline

“The first thing he wrote whenever he started was ‘The End’. That way, he could claim he finished a novel.” #writing #throwawayline

“What cathartic hobby do you have?” “Keeping people under my enormous ego.” #writing #throwawayline

“Just because you have an idea doesn’t mean it’s good. Of course, it’s your first one so that counts for something, I guess.” #writing #throwawayline

“Son, you aren’t perfect. No one thinks you are. That’s the problem. You think you are. Perfection, if there is such a thing, is in realizing you aren’t. If nothing else, it’s a step in the right direction.” #writing #throwawayline

“Why are you so sad?” “Gravity has a way of bringing me down.” #writing #throwawayline

“Instead of cars and dreaming about flying cars, we should be developing personal space vehicles. Then we can make this country manageable again by sending people out there. If they’re not here, they can’t cause problems.” #writing #throwawayline

“He got out of Dodge to get into Ford.” #throwawayline

“Football. Never more,” quoth the Raven. #throwawayline

“It was so cold, that they couldn’t come up with a metaphor for it.” #writing #throwawayline

“How many martinis would it take to prove you wrong?” #writing #throwawayline

“The cold permeated the second layer of skin.” Wait! What? Second layer of skin? You’re making that up! Anatomy, son. I could’ve said third, but it wasn’t that cold. #writing #throwawayline

“What are you wearing to the funeral?” “Whatever they put on me.” #writing #throwawayline

“He cut his wrist with a butter knife. It was a slice of life.” #writing #throwawayline

“You know your brother?: he asked. “Of course,” she replied. “He took a shower and never returned it.” #writing #throwawayline

“How much money is too much money?” “More than I have.” #writing #throwawayline

“His first loyalty was to the chicken wing. Then he ate it.” #throwawayline

What if the orcs were the cool ones with the pointy ears, and the elves were the fat disfigured ones reminiscent of your Uncle Al who keeps standing outside your living room window, looking in? #writing #throwawayline

“When you wield the Stuffed Teddybear of Cuteness, do not expect death.” #writing #throwawayline

“His growl was as low as he was.” #writing #throwawayline