“Do you have a disaster plan?” “Yes, I plan on snapping my fingers.” #throwawayline

“You don’t simply walk into Mordor. You need to take an Uber and pass the security station.” #throwawayline

“She took her clothes off. He was disappointed they were off-the-rack.” #writing #throwawayline

“The Chief Imperator decided that the best way to conquer was by Fiat.” #writing #throwawayline

“This version of the app fixed sightings of UFOs. There are no improvements to handling UAPs.” #throwawayline

“When life offers you a dead rat, ask what’s the catch?” #writing #throwawayline

“I don’t have time for your jibber-jabber. I have worlds to conquer.” #writing #throwawayline

”Sometimes being funny is Bette than being worried.” #writing #throwawayline

“It’s your funeral.” “I don’t think I’m dressed for the occasion.” #writing #throwawayline

“Sunshine is great until you get cancer. Darkness is where the monsters roam.” #writing #throwawayline

“Kick me and I’ll turn the other cheek.” #writing #throwawayline

Spoiler alert! Your refrigerator is open. #throwawayline

“How many last names should a sane person have?” #writing #throwawayline

“The dead pool at the bottom eventually.” #writing #throwawayline

“I find humans are always lost.” #writing #throwawayline

“Colostomy bag for the other things.” #writing #throwawayline

“He wore pants so no one would notice the diaper.” #writing #throwawayline

“The sharpness of her love spewed around her, killing everyone in range.” #writing #throwawayline

“Never look a gift frog in the mouth. It might flick its toungue at you.” #writing #throwawayline

“I hate when that happens.” “Then why do you keep causing it to?” #writing #throwawayline

“The waste management truck came by yesterday and picked up my brother. He was beginning to smell.” #writing #throwawayline

“A breeze is just god farting.” #writing #throwawayline

“It’s not summer until someone dies.” #writing #throwawayline

“She made him a man. It was the least he could be.” #writing #throwawayline

“Sometimes you have to fight your feral relatives.” #writing #throwawayline