“Hold me closer.” “Why?” “So you can’t get away.” #writing #throwawayline

“He wrote tests he could never pass.” #writing #throwawayline

“He wore a beard of beer. It attracted the beers.” #writing #throwawayline

“Where are the kids?” “I sold them into slavery.” #writing #throwawayline

“Death is for all.” #writing #throwawayline

“No one can hear you scream into the void, so why bother?” #writing #throwawayline

“He stood for nothing, but his Apple Watch.” #throwawayline

“Time kills more than any living creature. We should arrest and try it.” #writing #throwawayline

“The undead are never dead enough.” #writing #throwawayline

“They were the government. They looked like random mutations of Wally Cox, but weren’t as humorous.” #writing #throwawayline

“After years of sipping the Kool-Aid he realized Kool-Aid is people.” #writing #throwawayline

“He was always running on low-power mode.” #writing #throwawayline

“He was like a dumptruck full of manure. He spilled a lot.” #writing #throwawayline

“What’s the opposite of in?” “Hilton?” #throwawayline

“He worked tirelessly on his car.” #writing #throwawayline

“What if everything in the universe is fixed and immobile and the only thing that moves is energy?” #writing #throwawayline #physics

“We’re getting old, aren’t we?” #writing #throwawayline

“I’m sorry, sir, but we can’t take back your life. We have a strict policy of not taking back used lives–sanitary considerations, you see. And no, sir, we have no replacements in stock for one such as you.” #writing #throwawayline

“I had termites. But I couldn’t pay them.” #writing #throwawayline

“His bladder was as small as his brain.” #writing #throwawayline

“It’s Saint Andreas fault.” #writing #throwawayline

“What’s your favorite Apocalypse?” #writing #throwawayline

Lush foliage: plants that crave alcohol #writing #throwawayline

“You imbecile! You dropped the goblet and spilled the blood of my enemies.” #writing #throwawayline

Ramen: n - males who follow Ra. #writing #throwawayline