“He woudl be an evil genius if he were smart. As it is, he’s an idiot genius. Those are so annoyingly dangerous you don’t care how evil they may be.” #writing #throwawayline

“Keep firing. They’ll either die or find another job.” #writing #throwawayline

“Never bring a shotgun to a wedding.” #writing #throwawayline

“The dentist pulled out the Bluetooth.” #writing #throwawayline

“He fell from grace. He surmised that falling from Carol was safer since she knew how to pack a parachute.” #writing #throwawayline

“With great relief comes great relaxation.” #writing #throwawayline

“A book with no name is like a horse. Everyone is interested in its spine.” #writing #throwawayline

The ship sank to the bottom of the sea. Sinking to the bottom of a desert would have been inconvenient.” #writing #throwawayline

“If you feel seen, you should put some clothes on.” #writing #throwawayline

“Always pander to a panda. It suppresses the animal’s innate pandemonium.” #writing #throwawayline

“If you ‘roll with it’ you’re already wrapped around the thing you’re rolling with.” #writing #throwawayline

“He was between a rock and a hard place—marriage and lust.” #writing #throwawayline

“He’s like the guy who declares he never throws stones, until he does.” #writing #throwawayline

“Tarantula Rex” #writing #throwawayline

“When you walk into a bar, you’re drunk. You’re supposed to go into a bar sober, and walk out of a bar drunk..” #writing #throwawayline

“If you insult everyone, that’s fine. If you miss insulting someone, you’re a bigot.” #writing #throwawayline

“He was as sodded as the last sodded guy.” #writing #throwawayline

“You’re already odd. Now, it’s time to get even.” #writing #throwawayline

“I don’t know what I’m doing. I throw walls at spaghetti. I don’t like walls” #writing #throwawayline .

“Sir, the koalas are massing at the border.” #writing #throwawayline

“Life is quitting time.” #writing #throwawayline

“I’m in the no.” “Yes, you are.” #writing #throwawayline

“Few people, nowadays, remember the comedy team of the Marx brothers: Vladimir, Karl, Mao, and Tito.” #writing #throwawayline

“He cried, as an infant cries. Which was appropriate since he was an appropriated infant.” #writing #throwawayline

“Magicians are charlatans, because they have no source of power. That’s why sorcerer’s are to be taken seriously.” #writing #throwawayline