“What cathartic hobby do you have?” “Keeping people under my enormous ego.” #writing #throwawayline

“Just because you have an idea doesn’t mean it’s good. Of course, it’s your first one so that counts for something, I guess.” #writing #throwawayline

“Son, you aren’t perfect. No one thinks you are. That’s the problem. You think you are. Perfection, if there is such a thing, is in realizing you aren’t. If nothing else, it’s a step in the right direction.” #writing #throwawayline

“Why are you so sad?” “Gravity has a way of bringing me down.” #writing #throwawayline

“Instead of cars and dreaming about flying cars, we should be developing personal space vehicles. Then we can make this country manageable again by sending people out there. If they’re not here, they can’t cause problems.” #writing #throwawayline

“He got out of Dodge to get into Ford.” #throwawayline

“Football. Never more,” quoth the Raven. #throwawayline

“It was so cold, that they couldn’t come up with a metaphor for it.” #writing #throwawayline

“How many martinis would it take to prove you wrong?” #writing #throwawayline

“The cold permeated the second layer of skin.” Wait! What? Second layer of skin? You’re making that up! Anatomy, son. I could’ve said third, but it wasn’t that cold. #writing #throwawayline

“What are you wearing to the funeral?” “Whatever they put on me.” #writing #throwawayline

“He cut his wrist with a butter knife. It was a slice of life.” #writing #throwawayline

“You know your brother?: he asked. “Of course,” she replied. “He took a shower and never returned it.” #writing #throwawayline

“How much money is too much money?” “More than I have.” #writing #throwawayline

“His first loyalty was to the chicken wing. Then he ate it.” #throwawayline

What if the orcs were the cool ones with the pointy ears, and the elves were the fat disfigured ones reminiscent of your Uncle Al who keeps standing outside your living room window, looking in? #writing #throwawayline

“When you wield the Stuffed Teddybear of Cuteness, do not expect death.” #writing #throwawayline

“His growl was as low as he was.” #writing #throwawayline

“He set off on a voyage of discovery. After an hour of searching he had come across an old candybar wrapper, the missing toenail clippers, and a multitude of ripped toenails. Still, the carpet refused to yield up the secret of the missing pen.” #writing #throwawayline

“Now and then, I turn to Tao and Zen.” #writing #throwawayline

“I find life to be predictable. It’s all about mistakes.” #writing #throwawayline

“Throw up…no, I meant your hands.” #writing #throwawayline

“Would you rather have an angry spouse or a pestilent child? Me? I’d rather have a pestilent child. It’ll probably die.” #writing #throwawayline

“Sleep until you can no longer wake.” #writing #throwawayline

“She spat phlegm, mucus, and spittle. ‘No one insults me,’ she grumbled, pulling a rusty and decaying revolver from her Fanny pack. She pulled the trigger, and the ancient weapon spat a bullet, clean and new at her target.” #writing #throwawayline